A well-functioning planning team is the backbone of any successful event or project. When a group works together with trust, acknowledgment, clear communication and a shared vision, the results can be extraordinary. However, group dynamics — how people interact and function as a team — can either propel a project forward or create roadblocks. Understanding and shaping these dynamics is essential for fostering a collaborative, engaged and high-performing team.
We often forget the simple truth that we are leading humans! Every human wants to be seen, heard, valued, acknowledged and feel they are making a difference. They want to feel that there is a purpose and meaning in what they are contributing — and that their contributions are also acknowledged.
Nonverbal Communication
Much of a team’s communication is nonverbal, with nonverbal being 80-93% of everything we communicate, and it is largely unaddressed. What people say to themselves about each other is rarely recognized! When you walk into a room, you know something is wrong — if something is going on. When you say “what’s wrong?” and people answer “nothing” — the way they say it tells you everything! That’s the power of nonverbal communication.
The tone of our voice, vocal variety, micro-expressions, micro-color changes in our faces and our breathing all convey volumes about what we are really thinking. The single most powerful tool I could give you to bring out the best in your team is to observe what you say to yourself about every person with whom you interact — and pay attention to what they are thinking about each other. People do pick it up these nonverbal signs.
Remember the last time you met someone, and you walked away thinking, “They seemed nice, but something wasn’t quite right,” it’s because what they were saying didn’t match their self-talk. They lack congruence. This dichotomy also makes people lose trust in the person.
If your least favorite person is walking towards you, are you saying to yourself, “Fabulous! Here is an opportunity to practice forgiveness, non-judgment, compassion and love?” Probably not. You are more likely to be thinking, “Oh no! Not now! I just don’t have time for this!” The bad news is that the person knows it. They may not know why, but they probably don’t trust you or care for you either; they probably just feel that something is wrong.
Most people don’t know they are picking up nonverbal signals, and yet it’s one of the most significant aspects of creating a strong team. It’s the basis of respect, trust and honoring those around you.
The antidote to this is to become a “good finder.” It sounds simple, but it’s extraordinarily powerful. Find something good about the person that is irritating you and focus on that. You still require them to do their job, and if you are focusing on what they do right and something good about them, then the whole dynamic of the interaction changes and they are far more likely to perform.
Being aware of what each person in your team thinks or tells themselves about others is also really important. Leaders need to address people who are not pulling their weight to stop resentment forming that will cause performance issues within the team.
Elegant Communication
Being an elegant communicator is one of the most powerful leadership tools. An elegant communicator has excellent emotional intelligence — they know themselves, manage themselves and manage relationships well. Simply put, they understand how their state affects others, they are conscious of what they are saying to themselves about others, they are good finders and they feel good about themselves and can create safe spaces where others also feel good about themselves.
This is a huge topic and there is much more to being an elegant communicator, but this gives you a couple of tools you can immediately implement!
One of the most overlooked aspects of elegant communication is the balance between process and content. Content is the tasks the team needs to accomplish (budgets, logistics, timelines and strategy). Process is how the team interacts, communicates and collaborates to achieve those tasks, what they think of each other and how they see themselves as a team.
Teams that focus only on content may achieve short-term goals but often struggle with miscommunication, disengagement and burnout. On the other hand, teams that balance process and content create a positive environment where people support each other, feel valued, heard and motivated.
To summarise a leader’s job is three-fold:
- Change people’s behavior. You can do it in a heartbeat if you tell them a story that touches their hearts. Collect stories you can use!
- Create an environment in which people can be the best they can be, joy-filled and fear-free. Acknowledge them and pay attention to the nonverbal communication!
- Help people believe in themselves. Belief in your own abilities is a better predictor of success than any level of skill. Examine how you might be “judging” them with your self-talk and how you perceive them. Said simply, this is what you tell yourself about them!
A Final Note
One final tip to help you achieve the above aspects of a leader’s job, from one of the most brilliant leaders I know, Ken Wright — have ‘happiness chats’ with your team members. Meet with them once a month for a coffee and ask them what’s working, what’s not, what do they need to do, how you can support them and let them know you care! Remember, you are dealing with humans with insecurities!
Enjoy your next event and emerge less frazzled and more energized by fostering positive group dynamics. You don’t just create a better planning team, you create an environment where people feel inspired, connected and are ready to contribute their best!
